Finding healing for my battered warrior of a soul.

  video credits to @taylor.fcvietnam I'm still in a state of shock, so my writing will probably stay tainted by my grief for a while. This retrograde clearly has it in for me, because I'm just getting one storm after another handed to me. Love has been an ongoing topic in my head, usually accompanied by a giant question mark at the end. People tell me to move on, like that will help heal a broken heart. I always thought I was afraid of being alone, but it isn't me who lives with that fear, its those who jump from one relationship to the next, often overlapping, only having the courage to leave when they have found a replacement, leaving behind them a wake of broken hearts, lies and self-doubt.  In an episode of Sex and the City, the question was once asked; When two people part, where does the love go? Does it dive off a cliff? Is it transferred to the next person? Does it linger? Do we bury it deep in our hearts and keep it there forever? Or does it ultimately blacken and ...

  My usual sarcastically cheery self is going on vacation momentarily, I’m afraid to get out of bed, afraid to see the sun, terrified its light might expose all those things I desperately keep hidden inside myself. I have been trying to figure out for days how I can write a piece that doesn't show my grief, but to no avail. I am going through something right now that I cannot put into words - it is private, painful and something I was not prepared to feel anytime soon.  Sometimes we think we have it all figured out, we think we know what we want and how to get it and are distracted by what we feel the universe wants from us.. and then we are thrown a curve ball, and our world as we know it, shatters before our very eyes and falls into a million tiny little pieces. Heartbreak in any form is devastating. Love makes everything more tragic, beautiful, interesting, painful. Love can destroy you in seconds, but it can also save your life. Naturally, we try to deal with it by sleep...

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  Slow and steady is my mantra these days. Everything is slowly falling into place. Had quite a bit of personal drama to sort out. With a sigh of relief, let me give you a quick recap of all what's been up lately. I have rediscovered the awesomeness of bullet points. I have been missing Philippines for so many reasons. Mcdonald's 24-hour delivery is essential to city life. Overjoyed by learning that Queen of the South is now streaming on Netflix. My office is in the mall... mall gives me panic-attacks. My Lebanese lady boss is super awesome.  Now that I'm old, I find it hard to maintain my above average drinking talent haha! Sleep what a luxury! It is my most fav way to pass the time. I miss my cousins.  If you cannot trust your friend, then he or she is NOT your friend. Simple I score a free ticket to Fifa- Germany vs Costa Rica. Yay! My birthday is approaching.  Spending mucho time with friends who matter. Going back to keto diet- exclamation point! I've cut a...

  Dear Daddy, It's been almost a decade since you passed away and so much has happened since then, all of which, when I was younger, I imagined you to be part of. A year after you died, I left Singapore and moved to Qatar. And by the way, you'll be happy to know I took your watch when you passed away, and I still wear it to this day :) More importantly, years after you left us, we had a niece- but I'm sure you had met her somewhere in the universe before she came into our lives. I had the feeling you made sure she found her way to us? Darling named her Amara and her second name is Lorraine (combination of Lorenzo & Marianne). And Mama, she always introduces you to Amara whenever she touches your photo frame. Mama would always say “Si Papa Ben yan, kilala mo na baga yan”… Amara is growing up so fast and she's so smart & pretty. Oh, you will be happy to hear that Babiz can cook now and she’s pretty good at it too!   If you were still alive, she would cook...

                                                 photo credits to QOS Just a quick hello and assurance that I am indeed still alive. hehe I have become shamelessly obsessed with the series- Queen of the South and I am frustrated because my download on the season 5 has stopped at 50%...maybe for now I'll have to satisfy my thirst (pun intended) with pretty pictures from Alice Braga on instagram. I’ve always been strangely drawn to actresses with an unusual kind of beauty and Alice’s smile gets me every time. She is gorgeous without having to look like a boring mannequin and I love her as Teresa Mendoza, especially because of her Oh-no-you-did-not-just-say-that-moments. Now if only my download would resume again…